Saturday, 19 December 2009


"The following blog post was written when I was 16, this stupid thing is no longer my opinion."

This is a message to every organic carbon-based life form within a few light years. Go and watch Avatar this very instant, because in this blogger's opinion, it is the best movie I have seen in a while. Here is my review of it.

For those reading this blog who have taken refuge in a very dark place with no contact from the outside world, Avatar is a 3D movie, in that you wear 3D glasses throughout it and that the characters appear physically there, and let me say just this, if anything, the 3D in this movie is the best 3D in the history of 3D, it's so good that I'm keeping the 3D glasses on top of my head in the event of watching it again. One possibly intentional coincidence I've noticed is that you get really immersed into the movie in the same way the main characters are immersed into their 'Avatars'.

The story is thus, some dudes have discovered a planet they call 'Pandora' and they've set up colonies there in order to study it's ways, there's several alien races living there which all look like they individually took years to design they're that detailed. The smarter citizens of Pandora are some blue humanoid looking dudes which a name mentioned with such frequency that I already can't remember it. So they bring a paraplegic ex-marine called Jake Sully there in order to control one of the avatars that belonged to his never-again mentioned twin brother.

It turns out that Jake is quite good at controlling his Avatar, as he runs around a lot and generally gets the hang of it, he gets lost in a forest-y area by way of jumping off a cliff while escaping from some hostile animals. Later, one of the blue dudes, whom the Avatars are meant to resemble rescues Jake from some tiny creatures he could probably just step on if I'm honest. Later, they offer to teach Jake their ways, so he does just that with his Avatar, whilst his real self relates it back to the people he works for. I won't spoil the plot for you but let's just say at the climax of the film is a battle between a dragon/pterodactyl creature and a giant walking tank. Which in itself justifies watching the film.

My only complaint is that when this film inevitably is transferred to DVD and Blu-Ray, the 3D effects will have lost most of the impact they had on the big screen, I.E. they won't be nearly as awesome as they looked in the cinema. Words don't quite do justice to the incredible visual effects in the film, if this doesn't win any awards for it's 3D effects then I might actually go and massacre whoever made that decision.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that this film is to 3D film making to what the English language is to grunting and biting each others ears off. It's just that good.

With that said, I should mention that I only reviewed this film because I had particularly outstanding comments on it, so I may not review films that are decidedly average, if at all.

Until next time non-existent readers!

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